8 Things to Do if Youre Sober During Your Divorce

When a man stops cheating, it doesn’t erase the pain of the past indiscretions. Depression and anxiety also make their own contributions to your risks for substance problems. In fact, about 25% of all people with these or other mental health issues suffer from addiction or serious substance abuse, as well. Experts use the term dual diagnosis to describe the mixed effects of substance problems and mental illness. No one enters a marriage expecting it to come to an end someday. Unfortunately, divorce is a reality for millions of Americans, and people struggling with addiction — as well as those currently in addiction recovery —  are far from exempt.

We were trying to get better, and everything was getting worse. The destruction lingers long after we drink our last drop. In a relationship, sobriety isn’t the end of anything. It is only the beginning of a long, arduous, rarely successful trudge to save the marriage.

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Substance use within unhappy relationships can also become a downward spiral that can be difficult to get out of. One (or both) partner’s substance use can become the source of arguments. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), couples in which at least one partner lives with substance use disorder are often more unhappy than other couples.

Recovery can also sometimes uncover underlying mental health conditions that have contributed to substance use disorder. For example, up to half of people with substance use disorder have also experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Everyone wants to have a happy family but sometimes, divorcing an alcoholic spouse is the best thing you can do especially if you see that your family is falling apart because of alcohol abuse. “My husband is an alcoholic”, this isn’t a surprise for some. In fact, it’s a common dilemma today where families, marriages, and children are affected because of alcoholism. Drug and alcohol rehab programs for addiction often encourage participation from patients’ loved ones, including spouses.

Treatment Options for Addiction

In Debbie’s case, she initiated the divorce  recognizing that it was a critical success factor in getting sober. Her path to sobriety could have been very different divorce after sobriety if her husband had initiated it and she’d been opposed to it. It’s suggested that you’re careful of these behaviors, as they can lead to a codependent dynamic.

Hope and vulnerability are not options for the spouse of an active alcoholic. Self-preservation does not afford the luxury of trust. Unless you take action, the mounting pressure can set you on the road back to drug or alcohol use. This is possible, in part, because the stress you feel makes you more vulnerable to a relapse. For anyone trying to maintain their sobriety, a marriage’s breakup can put a major strain on drug or alcohol recovery.

Signs Of Substance Use Damage To A Relationship

And any time you increase your substance abuse rate, you increase the odds that addiction will occur. If you are going through a divorce, you may think that drugs or alcohol will help you feel more relaxed and stress-free. Consumption of these substances actually makes it easier for stress to overload your system. In turn, this overload can contribute to a vicious cycle of escalating substance use and intensifying stress. In a custody dispute, particularly one in court, both parents’ mental health is at issue.